Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
