Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
