He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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