and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I will die if light touches me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
