I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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