hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
