dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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