You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
