and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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