were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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