I wannas sexs uuuuu
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
