We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
