Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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