Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
