Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
