i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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