Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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