Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
