Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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