its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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