You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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