i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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