I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
