I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
