You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
