Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
