no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
