I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
