in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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