You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
