So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
