your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
