We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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