Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
