Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
