honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
