Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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