when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
