I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
