When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have fence marks all over my body
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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