Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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