my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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