This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
