i think my mom watched the whole time
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
