If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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