And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
