I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
