i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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