is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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