You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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