I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
