yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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